Girl Talk- "Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?"

Can men and women just be friends? Is it really possible for both sexes to exist together in a platonic friendship? Or will sexual attraction and jealousy always come into play?

Truth is, in today’s society women are finding themselves in more friendships with men than ever before. For the simple reason that most women are over the drama that comes along with same sex friendships. But even though being friends with males may appear to be drama free, there are still challenges that both sexes will need to overcome in order to be…JUST FRIENDS!

Since men and women are working and going to school together, it’s very easy and convenient to build friendships. But with these friendships there should be ground rules so pay close attention.

Ground Rule #1

Overcoming Attraction

If you have a male friend that you are attracted to then this rule will be the hardest not to break. Giving into sexual tension will quickly take you from friends to lovers in the matter of minutes. If you value your “friendship” do not cross that line because as easy as it is to go from friends to lovers, it is very difficult transitioning from lovers to friends. Going from lovers to friends usually begins with the simple phrase “Can’t we be friends” which is usually spoken by the person in relationship who trying to dodge a romantic bullet. What this phrase REALLY means is I like you as a person, love your company, enjoy your conversation and still want you around BUT IM NOT READY and still want to see other people. Basically what I am saying is you can’t go backwards because I guarantee you someone will get hurt in the process. So don’t cross the line because honestly who would want to hurt their “friend”?

Ground Rule #2

Dealing with Doubters

This is where the constant justification comes in. You will have to continuously explain to people that you guys are actually just friends. Contrary to others belief, sex is not always the main objective in male-female relationships. This is usually the case when there is a lack of attraction, sexual orientation, or involvement in another romantic relationship. But even if there is attraction, let’s face it looks are not everything because there are qualities that you can tolerate as a person’s friend but not in a romantic relationship.
But what happens when you’re the doubter? Would you be able to accept the fact that your boyfriend has a lot of female friends? If you are in this situation I suggest that you have a lot of trust in your relationship because without it you could become a victim of jealousy and potentially ruin your relationship. Some things you will need other trust are a lot of self worth (do not be insecure especially if his friend is really pretty), a strong mind and heart and lastly good acting skills because no matter how much you may act like you’re cool with their friendship, you will secretly hate her.

Ground Rule #3

Define the Relationship

Defining the relationship between the two of you is crucial. If you do not have a mutual understanding than there could be room for error in this so called “friendship”. Meaning you need to distinguish between a “friendship attraction” and a “connection profuse with lust”. With this being said a lot of people claim to be a “friend” as a way of getting closer to someone. How many of us have been approached by guy who is trying to pursue you, you tell him you have a boyfriend (probably a lie but who cares) and he insist on following up with “You can’t have friends?” Knowing damn well he do not want to be JUST be your friend. And ladies we cannot act like we don’t do it too. Playing the “home girl” role in hopes of one day becoming “his girl” when in reality that may never happen. Bottom line is friendship with ulterior motive is a “no-no”. Friendships should be built off of honesty not deception so don’t lie to him or yourself.
Those are the ground rules you need to follow in order to keep him as JUST a friend. But sometimes you can’t avoid the inevitable nor deny the fact that friends make the best lovers! Why? You ask…because there’s a certain level of comfort you have when you’re with your friend that you don’t have around your lover initially. You feel free to be yourself, crack corny jokes, share things that may be personal or sometimes even embarrassing and not have to worry whether or not you’re turning that person off or being misjudged. You also have the same interests which makes it easy to get along. With a friend it’s not primarily about sex but communication and just knowing that that person is there when you need them which are all the things you need to make a relationship work with your lover.
The con would be if the relationship failed for some reason and like I said before there is no going backwards. So therefore that friendship is lost and there’s no way to get it back. And if you do, it will not be the same. So to answer the question can men and women be friends? Of course! Are there challenges? Oh yes! But if you overcome attraction, deal with the doubters and define your relationship you could be on your way to a long lasting male-female FRIENDSHIP!

But if you do decide go from friends to lovers; Make sure that it is worth the risk of possibility of losing a really good friend. If you both are on the same page and are ready to take the plunge then why not? It may be the best decision you ever made!