Girl Talk- "Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?"

Can men and women just be friends? Is it really possible for both sexes to exist together in a platonic friendship? Or will sexual attraction and jealousy always come into play?

Truth is, in today’s society women are finding themselves in more friendships with men than ever before. For the simple reason that most women are over the drama that comes along with same sex friendships. But even though being friends with males may appear to be drama free, there are still challenges that both sexes will need to overcome in order to be…JUST FRIENDS!

Since men and women are working and going to school together, it’s very easy and convenient to build friendships. But with these friendships there should be ground rules so pay close attention.

Ground Rule #1

Overcoming Attraction

If you have a male friend that you are attracted to then this rule will be the hardest not to break. Giving into sexual tension will quickly take you from friends to lovers in the matter of minutes. If you value your “friendship” do not cross that line because as easy as it is to go from friends to lovers, it is very difficult transitioning from lovers to friends. Going from lovers to friends usually begins with the simple phrase “Can’t we be friends” which is usually spoken by the person in relationship who trying to dodge a romantic bullet. What this phrase REALLY means is I like you as a person, love your company, enjoy your conversation and still want you around BUT IM NOT READY and still want to see other people. Basically what I am saying is you can’t go backwards because I guarantee you someone will get hurt in the process. So don’t cross the line because honestly who would want to hurt their “friend”?

Ground Rule #2

Dealing with Doubters

This is where the constant justification comes in. You will have to continuously explain to people that you guys are actually just friends. Contrary to others belief, sex is not always the main objective in male-female relationships. This is usually the case when there is a lack of attraction, sexual orientation, or involvement in another romantic relationship. But even if there is attraction, let’s face it looks are not everything because there are qualities that you can tolerate as a person’s friend but not in a romantic relationship.
But what happens when you’re the doubter? Would you be able to accept the fact that your boyfriend has a lot of female friends? If you are in this situation I suggest that you have a lot of trust in your relationship because without it you could become a victim of jealousy and potentially ruin your relationship. Some things you will need other trust are a lot of self worth (do not be insecure especially if his friend is really pretty), a strong mind and heart and lastly good acting skills because no matter how much you may act like you’re cool with their friendship, you will secretly hate her.

Ground Rule #3

Define the Relationship

Defining the relationship between the two of you is crucial. If you do not have a mutual understanding than there could be room for error in this so called “friendship”. Meaning you need to distinguish between a “friendship attraction” and a “connection profuse with lust”. With this being said a lot of people claim to be a “friend” as a way of getting closer to someone. How many of us have been approached by guy who is trying to pursue you, you tell him you have a boyfriend (probably a lie but who cares) and he insist on following up with “You can’t have friends?” Knowing damn well he do not want to be JUST be your friend. And ladies we cannot act like we don’t do it too. Playing the “home girl” role in hopes of one day becoming “his girl” when in reality that may never happen. Bottom line is friendship with ulterior motive is a “no-no”. Friendships should be built off of honesty not deception so don’t lie to him or yourself.
Those are the ground rules you need to follow in order to keep him as JUST a friend. But sometimes you can’t avoid the inevitable nor deny the fact that friends make the best lovers! Why? You ask…because there’s a certain level of comfort you have when you’re with your friend that you don’t have around your lover initially. You feel free to be yourself, crack corny jokes, share things that may be personal or sometimes even embarrassing and not have to worry whether or not you’re turning that person off or being misjudged. You also have the same interests which makes it easy to get along. With a friend it’s not primarily about sex but communication and just knowing that that person is there when you need them which are all the things you need to make a relationship work with your lover.
The con would be if the relationship failed for some reason and like I said before there is no going backwards. So therefore that friendship is lost and there’s no way to get it back. And if you do, it will not be the same. So to answer the question can men and women be friends? Of course! Are there challenges? Oh yes! But if you overcome attraction, deal with the doubters and define your relationship you could be on your way to a long lasting male-female FRIENDSHIP!

But if you do decide go from friends to lovers; Make sure that it is worth the risk of possibility of losing a really good friend. If you both are on the same page and are ready to take the plunge then why not? It may be the best decision you ever made!

"A New Year, A New Me"- Reinventing Yourself in 2010

Hey ladies!! As you all know we have embarked on a new year, 2010. New years represent new beginnings and I am sure that you have been making lists of everything you want to change and accomplish which is very common. Making a list is great if you actually execute it but if not what is the point of wasting paper?? If you are struggling to come up with ways that you can improve this year, here are some tips that will help you reinvent yourself. Lets not only embrace the new year but a new you!


Tips For Reinventing Yourself

Expand Your Horizons- Expose yourself to different things, cultures, places, and activities.

-Get More Involved- Join a club, commitee, organization,etc. Participate in community service

-Stimulate Your Creativity- Find your talents and perfect it or find something else you do well.

-Meet New People- Changing up your social circle helps because new people introduce you to new things!

-Reward Yourself for progress and Forgive Yourself for Slip Ups- Treat yourself when you accomplish one of your goals and if you happen to slip up and fall back into old habits, DO NOT beat yourself up! Just regroup and keep it moving!

-Get a Fresh Start (Mentally)- Let go of old relationships and friendships that didn't work out in the past. Trust me it didnt work out for reason. No more grudges and pinned up frustration! Just LET IT GO!

-Learn From Your Mistakes- Mistakes are easily repeated if you do not learn from them. So take it as a lesson learned and do not let the past repeat itself.

-Get a new look!- Get a new hairstyle, switch up your wardrobe, try new make up, loss weight,etc. Give yourself a mini makeover! Let yourself outside appearance match the beauty inside.

So there you have it! Try these tips and get started on reinventing a new and improved you! Remember change is good and if you are not changing then you are not growing! Leave the past in the past and always look to the future because that is where you will spend the rest of your life. Never live in the past!

Be Unstoppable!

GoGirl of The Week- Ondrea A. Lee

This week's goGIRL is a young women making moves! She is a Editor-in-chief, Blogger, CEO and now a goGIRL! Ondrea A. Lee, 22 years old of New Jersey launched her first online magazine, Young Women Making Moves, in the effort of empowering young women from all walks of life reaching greater strives of reaching a point of success in their careers and their future plans.



When she is not working on YWMM, she continues her studies at Montclair State University in pursuit of a B.A. in Fashion Studies and minor in Journalism. Aside from school and YWMM, Ondrea is a Fashion Contributor to a popular fashion blog, Fashionista101.com and a member of a fashion show production company, The Ground Crew. As the Fashion Contributor of Fashionista101.com, she writes about the latest in fashion, trends, and celebrity style.

Ondrea continues to make her stride in the fashion industry. For the past two consecutive years, she was accepted and attended Teen Vogue Fashion University while holding the title of Baby Phat Brand Ambassador. In her spare time, you can catch her sketching a few pieces you are likely to see your favorite celebrity showcase in the near future.



What Makes Her a goGIRL?

The qualities that make me a go Girl is my driven, ambitious and resilient spirit. In life there are ups and downs, but never should anyone feel defeated. We all must adapt and keep it moving. My mission is to empower young women and help them realize their potential of becoming whoever they wish to be. As women we are great and even more powerful united, so I want to increase unity and lessen negativity amongst us all.

My sister/mentor Chantal Borgella always would tell me anything is possible and nothing is impossible and go for what you want in life. Never let anything come between you and your dreams, be unstoppable. Her wise words follow me everywhere I go. That’s how I try to live my life every day, anything I want I go get it like a go Girl,lol. Go Girls are confident. Go Girls are humble. Go Girls are daring. Go Girls are move makers. Go girls are destined for GREATNESS!

You goGIRL! Ondrea is a role model to women and young girls across the world! She is a good girl going great places!

Be sure to log onto Young Women Making Moves
www.ywmmmagonline.com
Follow her on twitter: @DaFreshPrincess
For further inquiries: ywmm.girl@gmail.com



Are you a girl on the go?
Do you know a good girl, going places?
Nominate yourself or someone else at gogirlent2009@gmail.com

goGIRLs Get Tested- What You Need to Know About HIV/AIDS

goGIRL wants YOU to get tested!! Know your status! There are some things you can tell about a person by just looking at them but HIV/AIDS is not one of them. Protect yourself and practice safe sex!

It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance. ~Elizabeth Taylor

What You Need to Know!!

Where is HIV found?
HIV is found in many body fluids including blood, semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk.

How is HIV transmitted?
HIV is transmitted through:
􀂃 Unprotected penetrative (vaginal or anal) and oral sex with an infected person
􀂃 Blood transfusion with contaminated blood
􀂃 By using contaminated syringes, needles or other sharp instruments
􀂃 From an infected mother to her child during pregnancy, childbirth and
breastfeeding

Can I get HIV from casual contact?
HIV is not transmitted by day-to-day contact in social settings, schools or in the
workplace. You cannot be infected by shaking someone's hand, by hugging someone,
by using the same toilet or drinking from the same glass as an HIV-positive person,
playing sports with or by being exposed to coughing or sneezing by anyone living with
HIV. So you should not be fearful of interacting with persons who are living with the
disease.

How can you limit your risk of getting HIV through sex?
􀂃 Abstain from sex
􀂃 Remain faithful in a relationship with an uninfected equally faithful partner with noother risk behaviour
􀂃 Practice only non-penetrative sex
􀂃 Use male or female condoms correctly each time you have sex

In addition to the above, you can further reduce the risk of HIV infection through sex?

􀂃 Delay the age you begin to have sexual relations
􀂃 Reduce the number of sexual partners you have
􀂃 Get tested and treated for sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
How can you prevent the other ways of HIV transmission?
􀂃 Avoid injecting drugs, or if you choose to inject drugs, always use new and
disposable needles and syringes
􀂃 Ensure that any blood or blood products that you might need are tested for HIV
and that blood safety standards are implemented.

What is 'safer' sex?

No sexual act is 100% safe. Safer sex involves taking precautions that decrease the
potential of transmitting or acquiring STIs, including HIV, through sex. Using condoms correctly every time one has sex is considered ‘safer’ sex.

What causes AIDS?

AIDS is caused by HIV.

HIV is a virus that gradually attacks immune system cells. As HIV progressively damages these cells, the body becomes more vulnerable to infections, which it will have difficulty in fighting off. It is at the point of very advanced HIV infection that a person is said to have AIDS. It can be years before HIV has damaged the immune system enough for AIDS to develop.

What are the symptoms of AIDS?

A person is diagnosed with AIDS when they have developed an AIDS-related condition or symptom, called an opportunistic infection, or an AIDS-related cancer. The infections are called ‘opportunistic’ because they take advantage of the opportunity offered by a weakened immune system.

It is possible for someone to be diagnosed with AIDS even if they have not developed an opportunistic infection. AIDS can be diagnosed when the number of immune system cells (CD4 cells) in the blood of an HIV positive person drops below a certain level.

Is there a cure for AIDS?

Worryingly, many people think there is a 'cure' for AIDS - which makes them feel safer, and perhaps take risks that they otherwise wouldn’t. However, there is still no cure for AIDS. The only way to sta


Statistics About HIV/AIDS

-the leading cause of death for black women (including African American women) aged 25–34 years.
-the 3rd leading cause of death for black women aged 35–44 years
-the 4th leading cause of death for black women aged 45–54 years
-the 4th leading cause of death for Hispanic women aged 35–44 years
-In the USA, African American and Hispanic women account for 80 percent of AIDS cases, even though they represent less than one fourth of all women.
-Women are more likely to get HIV during vaginal sex for several biological reasons.
The lining of the vagina provides a large area, which can be exposed to HIV-infected semen. Semen has higher levels of HIV than vaginal fluids do.
More semen is exchanged during sex than vaginal fluids.
-More than 20 million men, women and children have died from AIDS.
-90 percent of HIV-positive children were infected during birth or breastfeeding
-High-risk heterosexual contact was the source of 80% of these newly diagnosed infections

goGIRL Get Tested! Do you know your status??

goGIRL of The Week- Kerrel McKay

This week's goGIRL is Kerrel Mckay. Twenty-Four year old Jamaican Aids activist is
a globally recognized youth leader. Kerrel speaks for UNICEF and has established a strong non-governmental group, the Portland Parish AIDS Committee Youth Group, in her homeland of Jamaica. However behind the smiles is the sad story of a young woman losing her father nine years ago to AIDS. Kerrel was nine years old when her mother told her that her father was HIV positive. With no initial understanding of the virus or the discrimination that would come along with it, Kerrel stood by her father and helped in any way she could.

Kerrel is committed to her message she frequented bars and clubs to spread sexual health education. Kerrel realizes that a “majority of all new infections are among young people,” and she emphasizes that “young people have a lot to contribute [in terms] of skills and creativity that can be harnessed in the response [to HIV/AIDS].” Kerrel stresses that “Young people are crucial in putting a stop to the growing epidemic that we now face.”




Kerrel’s voice now reaches beyond Jamaica to anyone with an Internet connection. She has recorded three audio diaries for UNICEF (the biggest supporter of Kerrel’s Committee Youth Group) in which she interviews Jamaicans concerning their beliefs about AIDS and sexual health. One man Kerrel interviewed—who works for an AIDS prevention program—notes the long-term effects of AIDS, which kills parents and “…leaves their children in a vulnerable situation, and the kids often become victims of crime, violence, drugs and prostitution.” Kerrel’s audio diaries give insight into Jamaican culture while simultaneously expressing the worldwide need for AIDS education and prevention.



This goGIRL is very inspiring, one of goGIRL's 10 commandments is to better me and my community, help Kerrel and Millions by visiting www.fightglobalaids.org. Today is World's Aids day get tested and Know your status! The AIDS epidemic’s is impact and overwhelming,stand up goGIRL's and "Be Unstoppable"!


Are you a girl on the go?
Do you know a good girl, going places?
Nominate yourself or someone else at gogirlent2009@gmail.com

goGIRL Gives Back!!

Being a goGIRL is not only about bettering oneself but also contributing to the betterment of your community. One of the 10 Commandments of a goGIRL is “Thy shall better me and my community” and we intend on practicing just that!! This is the season for giving back and being thankful for what and who you have in your life. This is also the time to do something selfless that will benefit someone other than yourself. Here are some ways that YOU can give back…


• Donate to a nonprofit that helps the hungry
• Donate a Thanksgiving basket
• Hold a food drive
• Volunteer at a soup kitchen
• Hold a Thanksgiving charity bake sale
• Send a phone card or care package to a soldier
• Donate to a charity that helps the homeless
• Deliver Thanksgiving dinners to housebound people
• Visit hospital patients
• Invite a friend over to dinner who doesn’t have a place to spend the holiday
• Clean out your closet and give away clothes to the Salvation Army or Goodwill
• Donate books
• Visit retirement homes
• Do something nice for someone anonymously
• Volunteer at your church
• Adopt a Road
• Sponsor a child


These are just our ideas but feel free to get creative when giving back. You do not have to necessarily donate money but instead donate your time.


Tell us about how you gave back to your community by submitting your story, photo and contact info to gogirlent2009@gmail.com by November 28th. The goGIRL with the best story will win a PRIZE from us and have your story posted on our blog. So go out and make a difference in someone's elses life...GIVE BACK! We look forward to hearing your story!

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give” –Winston Churchill

goGIRL of the Week- Melody Ehsani

This week's goGIRL is Los Angeles-based designer Melody Ehsani. She creates eye catching shoes and accessories and have already caught the eyes of A-list
celebrities Rihanna, Ciara, Alicia Keys, Kelis, Keri Hilson, Erykah Badu and Mariah Carey to just name a few. Her accessories and shoes are bold, daring and makes a statement.



Just two years into business she started her career by taking classes at a design school, interning and then opened a small boutique. The boutique ended up not working because she set out her to create her own line. She did her research on a few factories and went to Asia. She stayed out there for months, until she finished her first collection.



Melody not only has a line of iconic jewelry but also a line of fashion forward shoes. Her line has been featured in various music videos Ciara's "Love Sex Magic", Mariah Carey's "My Love", and Electrik Red's Video. Also Melody and her Jewelry was featured in Keri Hilson's Latest video "Slow Dance".



Melody is one of the hottest designers in 2009 and you can expect a lot more from this goGIRL!


Check out Melody's Line at http://www.melodyehsani.com/

Are you a girl on the go?
Do you know a good girl, going places?
Nominate yourself or someone else at gogirlent2009@gmail.com